|14 December 2002|
Lyn Gardner: The Guardian
C'est delicious, c'est delightful, c'est divine. C'est the Duckie
Christmas show, an all-singing, all-dancing, high-kicking, very
alternative and very adult entertainment in a Vauxhall pub. It is years
since I have seen such a delectable array of flesh-coloured tights
topped with gold lamé.
A ticket buys you a seat at a table where
you can sip champagne (or pale ale if you prefer - after all, Duckie
pride themselves on being purveyors of "progressive working-class
entertainment"). You then order from the à la carte show menu, which
delivers personal performances direct to your table courtesy of Ursula
Martinez, Maria Carnesky, Christopher Green and Miss High Leg Kick.
Each table is given 50 Duckie dollars to spend on a selection of
starters, main courses and side dishes. Miss High Kick Does Seven Cocks
- a turn that will change your view of balloon modelling for ever -
will set you back 10 dollars, while the uncannily spot-on The Wicked
Witch of the West Does Robert De Niro is a mere morsel at two dollars.
There is a Spanish version of this for the more cosmopolitan among you.
Chris Green's Bodyworld (10 dollars) doesn't quite offer a table-top
autopsy but it is riveting none the less. Nacho Snatcho (10 dollars) is
a spicy, tasty little number involving nachos, salsa dip and a part of
the female anatomy. And you can pay five dollars to be insulted or
is a very different kind of theatrical experience, and, although its
purpose is no more than entertainment, it makes some sly comments on
our cultural obsessions and the conspicuous consumption of Christmas -
the pushing of the branded merchandise is ruthlessly funny. The Duckie
jigsaw is a snip at £89.50. This is not everyone's cup of eggnog. But
if you find that most principal girls are not camp enough, you should
get up a party and book a table tout de suite. C'est trash. C'est très